When you Care Enough to Insult the very Best!   

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.

Sorry


          
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

H
eard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.

         

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
L
ooking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"

          

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

C
ongratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husban
d.

       
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H
ow could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?


 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I
've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.


 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I
must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

     
 


//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

A
s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.


###################################################
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.



********************************************************************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)



 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

     
 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
W
hen we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.


          


//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

W
e have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?

     
 

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I
'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.


   



================================================
 

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?


    
 



%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.

    

 


))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

S
o your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.

      

 

 


 Feel free to pass this one along to everyone who
needs to be insulted!
 


Remember:

Growing older is mandatory.
Growing up is optional.
Laughing at yourself is therapeutic
!
 

        Stick clipart image: figures,meeting,standing,stick,stick figures,Stick clipart image: and,black,boy,caricatures,children,drawing,figures,   Stick clipart image: dancing,figures,hand-in-hand,stick,stick figures, 
 

 



 
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Bettye Chambers